Title: Hands Down
Rating: PG-13 for teenagers making out, lol
Disclaimer: I don’t own Degrassi nor do I own Hands Down, which is owned by the amazing band Dashboard Confessional.
Summary: He never, not once, agnoliged her presence, yet that was the whole beauty of it all. That, without any formal communication, they still connected the way that they did.
Note: I would like to say thank you to Eva, who generorously Beta’d this, and Katy, who happily stayed up with me and helped me think through everything. This is for you crazy junkies.
My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me
So won't you kill me, so I die happy
My heart is yours, to fill or burst
To break or bury, or wear as jewelry
Whichever you prefer
- Dashboard Confessional, ‘Hands Down’
He always liked Algebra class.
Somehow, no matter how crappy his day had been developing over the hours, he always looked forward to Algebra. It wasn’t because, by some stroke of good luck, he got placed all the way in the back of the class next to the hottest girl in the entire school. It wasn’t because, say if the girl miraculously got boring to look at, he could easily sneak out through the open door that laid coincidently by his foot. It wasn’t even that, across the door from him lay the boys' bathroom, where he could easily hide out until the class ended once the teacher got boring, which he eventually would. No, the real reason why he felt so happy and actually held Algebra class with his highest approval rating was because a hallway by where his Algebra class was held was a boiler room. He had recently learned that where there’s a boiler room, there’s a beautiful girl waiting for him.
Walking out of the class, the thought of why this was so easy never really crossed his mind. He didn’t even need to resort to sneaking out anymore, this had become somewhat hobby-like. As he walked closer to the closet, his mind was not cleared. He was still thinking about the test that he knew he should have studied for, the present that really should have been sent to the person about a good month ago, and the fact that he was leaving his Algebra class for what seemed like the 3rd time this week. Yet the relevance of those things to his recent life and what he was currently doing wasn’t there. He didn’t feel it. There for he felt no need to pay attention to those things though, technically, they were still on his mind.
Pushing the door open, there was no doubt whatsoever that she wasn’t going to be there waiting for him, probably going to bitch at him for being so late. She never really seemed to appreciate that he was actually risking everything to sneak out to be with her. Not at all alarmed that he could have been caught when he didn’t see her standing in the spot that she always seemed to be vacating, he let his dark eyes scan across the dark room until he found her hair. Once he did, not even bothering to check if it was the right girl or not, he quickly shut the creaking door and shut out the world, turning all of his attention on the shorter girl in front of him. She lightly gasped and he smiled.
Running his hands over her cheek, he could almost feel anything and everything flaking off of her. The stupid math test that she knew that she should have studied for, the present that had indeed come about 2 months in advanced, and the fact that she was missing her AP Calculus class for him. He loved that he could do that, just make her troubles flake away. He at least hoped that it was him. Bringing his hand down to her hip and gripping onto the body part, it slowly occurred to him that the more and slower he caressed her cheek the quicker she began to shiver, and at an alarming rate. The fact that the heater could have been broken or that she could have been naturally cold never even crossed his mind. He knew that it was because of him but, of course, this wasn’t too surprising.
Never before had he been so fascinated by one body part for such a long time. The more he thought about it, which would probably be one of the first times he had actually thought of anything, especially something that concerned her, the more he realized that he barely acknowledged her. No, that would be a lie. He did acknowledge her. Like now, for example. Picking his head up from where his hand was moving, he concentrated on her face. He could tell she was frowning. Or scowling... Whatever.
Just then, he decided to move down to the small space between her jeans and black shirt. She was still shivering, but her body was almost still, as if she was inwardly telling herself to stop. He half wanted to hear her say it out loud, mostly because it would be a riot, but then he thought against it. Hearing her voice would just shut off the mood generator and instantly turn him off. It wasn’t that he didn’t like her voice, he did, but hearing it now would just make the whole thing seem weird and… wrong. This whole thing was about him, and maybe a bit of her, and was supposed to be mysterious and… right. Wanting to shut himself up, he kissed her. It was a hard kiss, a sudden kiss, a normal kiss. Well, for them anyway.
Letting her go rather abruptly, her breathing suddenly stopped and he knew right away why; she was biting her lip. He supposed that it should be somewhat scary that even in the darkest of dark light, or lack of it, that he could still tell what she was doing but he didn’t. At the moment, nothing was ever really scary. He ran his finger over her lips, which felt as if they could be frozen blue, before leaning forward. With their lips pressed against each other but clammed shut, he could feel the tiny slips of her breath pressing against the lower inside of his upper lip.
It felt slightly tingly and he wondered if this would be the right time to laugh. Of course, he decided against it. He wasn’t about getting beat up in the dark. Running his tongue out against her bottom lip, he could feel the light teeth marks she had left and was slightly happy. After all, there were simply countless times that he had come home with a hickey from none other than… you guessed it, her. But about a half a second later, he realized that he no longer needed to plot revenge. On the tip of his tongue was a drop of blood. Though only one drop, it was easily tasted as it blended in sourly with the sweet tooth he had recently been sporting.
Her hand suddenly lashed out to caress her lips but he took them in his hands slowly. Running his fingers over the inside of her palms he grinned at the small sounds she was making. She had never seemed like a truly girly person so that sound both creeped him out yet turned him on. He didn’t even know that was even possible. He brought her smaller hand to his own mouth, letting her feel the blood she left on him. Waiting for a response- any response- he saw it as no great surprise when he got none. She was a girl of few words and he liked it like that. He traced the tips of her fingers until he heard her smile. Before meeting her, he didn’t know you could hear someone smile. But her lips barely cracked into anything but a frown that the mere thought of them going up into a smile, even a small one, was noisy.
She turned up her body so that she was tiptoeing on the tips of his shoes and her lips were pressed against his pale, newly washed ears. Her breath was going down his flannel shirt and his white undershirt. He ran his hands through his dark hair, nervous. He hated it when she was in charge of the whole seduction thing. He felt so useless, like he had absolutely nothing to do. She kissed down his neck slowly before breathing in his scent. He smelled… he smelled weird. But a good weird. He had his own scent which is always good. Her weird smelling boy.
Not being able to take the suspense, he pushed her roughly against the wall and began kissing her. Her tongue fell into his mouth and he smiled at her. Her tongue tasted as good as a tongue could taste. Not that he went around tasting people’s tongues or anything.
She pulled away from him. “I’ve been thinking…”
“That’s never good.”
She ignored him and ran her finger down the side of his cheek so he would pay more attention. However, it was giving the opposite effect as he began sucking on the tips of her fingers. Even her fingertips tasted good. “Maybe you should leave her.”
This got his attention. “What?”
“You should leave her. For me. And then we could go public. Together.” And she spoke in broken English, as if he really had such a hard time conjuring verbs. And adjectives. And all of that stuff.
He shook his head, not really liking the idea. “I think we don’t,” he said, leaning forward to kiss her but when she turned her head, he instead was forced to suck her neck. It was okay, he guessed, but her lips tasted better.
She backed away. “You won’t leave her because you don’t want to leave her?”
“Because I can’t. She’s as big a part of me as I am to you.”
She stood away from him, as if she were confused. Very much confused. “Who said you held such a big part of my life?” and before she could continue on, he licked her bottom lip and immediately shut her up. She moaned in his mouth.
“I know I’m a big part of your life because you’re a big part of me.”
She narrowed her eyes slowly, almost as if unbelieving towards what he had just said. She couldn’t shake the feeling that he was lying just to get what he wanted.
He brushed her hair behind her ear, loving how it pointed up slightly like an elf against his fingers before coughing. He was fine with the whole sentimental thing as he actually found it a nice break from his everyday life. But she was slightly pushing her luck with her request.
Against her own recent moral wants, she tiptoed up so her lips were centered with his before placing a light nibble on his lips.
His eyes were open the entire time and it wasn't until he saw her small body head towards the door that he realized that she had actually bitten him. Brushing his finger over his bottom lip, he could barely pinpoint where exactly she had bitten him. It was a small nibble. A small nibble that was just hard enough to signal that she had been there. But other than the fading amount of body heat, no one would have known that he wasn't in the room by himself.
Just then, he felt the shivers from the slamming door rock through his recently transparent bones. And while allowing the top row of his teeth to graze upon the top of his bottom lip, he lightly tasted an odd taste. A familiar taste.
She had drawn blood. Hands down, this was his favorite part of the day.